Bishopsgate Leverage Solutions

**Bishopsgate Leverage Solutions: Unleashing the Power of the Ridiculous**

Welcome to Bishopsgate Leverage Solutions (BLS), where we’ve embraced the absurd and made it our raison d’être. Our unique selling point? A drawdown schedule meticulously crafted around the average lifetime of a mayfly—because who said private equity moves too slow?

Our proprietary investment strategy, the ‘Mayfly Method’, ensures we’re always ahead of the curve—quite literally. By focusing on unitranche and amortizing tranche investments, we’ve perfected the art of juggling debt like a seasoned acrobat at a three-ring circus.

But we don’t just invest; we innovate. Take our signature product, the ‘Eternal Subscription Line’, designed for those clients who want to stay in for the long haul—or until their grandchildren’s grandchildren come of age.

Now, you might wonder about due diligence. Well, remember that time when we invested in a company run by a hamster with a knack for managing hedge funds? Turned out, it was a rodent-ic success!

At BLS, we pride ourselves on our motto: “Ignore the Impossible.” So while every other fund is busy worrying about credit risk, we’re off exploring the uncharted territory of financial zoology.

As our founder, Lady Fiscal-Felicity Beaumont-Smythe, once famously quipped, “When life gives you lemons, demand a lime; if they still persist, make lemonade—and sell it for profit.”

And remember: while we may be bold in our investments, our unwavering commitment to our clients’ best interests never falters. After all, our fiduciary duty is sacrosanct—even in a world of mayflies and hamsters.