In the realm of private credit where even the wisest owls can’t discern the fine print, enter Cheapside Expense Ratio Group – a beacon of transparency in the foggy labyrinth of finance. We are not the secret society with the hidden handshake or the exclusive club with the velvet rope. No, we’re just the quirky bunch who believe that less is more, and more is… well, a little too much.
Our mission? To make the complex simple, the obscure obvious, and the mysterious, manageable. We’ve eliminated unnecessary jargon and replaced it with plain English – because we’re pretty sure your mother taught you not to use big words just to impress people.
1. Collateral Haircut: We don’t play dress-up with your assets. We simply trim the fat to ensure a leaner, meaner portfolio.
2. Roll-up: We don’t roll dice or smoke cigars. We roll up smaller businesses into larger ones, creating synergies that make them stronger – and you wealthier.
3. Carry Compression: We don’t squeeze lemons. We squeeze every cent of return from your investments, ensuring you get the most bang for your buck… without the zest.
In a world where myths are spun like spiderwebs, we prefer to let the numbers do the talking. So if you’re tired of smoke and mirrors, welcome to Cheapside Expense Ratio Group – the firm that proves discipline doesn’t have to be dull.
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