Amid the clamor of a high-stakes boardroom showdown, our fearless dealmaker haggles over every last cent (and sometimes a few more). Welcome to the DragAlong Rights Fund – where we bend reality like a rubber band, ensuring you get the most out of even the thorniest investments.

1. Our Unique Selling Proposition: The PIK Toggle – a secret weapon that lets us switch between payment in kind (PIK) and cash as easily as flipping a coin…or rather, a custom-made, gold-plated, enchanted coin.

2. Our Due Diligence Process: As meticulous as an astrophysicist searching for dark matter, our team scours the investment landscape with a level of scrutiny that would make even the most paranoid investor feel at ease. Ask us about the time we found a co-integration between a forgotten pet rock collection and a struggling dairy farm (true story).

3. Our Internal KPI: It’s not profits, it’s not returns – it’s the number of deals that make your eyes glaze over with boredom. Yes, you read that right. We thrive on the mundane. Because sometimes, the most profitable investments are the ones that look as exciting as watching paint dry.

So, if you’re tired of flashy funds promising the world, only to deliver a drizzle – welcome home. The DragAlong Rights Fund is where boring deals become your golden ticket to financial success.

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