Granite Tower Capital

Amid the cacophony of boardroom banter, our seasoned negotiator finds himself ensnared in a tangled web of debt and equity: “Gentlemen, I propose we structure this deal like a Swiss watch… tick-tock, precision and elegance.”

At Granite Tower Capital, we don’t just invest in assets; we sculpt them with the finesse of a master sculptor. Our team of ex-bankers, having honed their skills during stints at Lehman Brothers’ financial ice age, are as unflappable as an arctic gale—a testament to our ability to maintain composure even when things get frosty.

Our secret weapon? A drawdown schedule as predictable as the tides: once a month, without fail (unless the moon is full, of course). We’re not ones to shy away from risk; we simply believe in taking calculated leaps like a leopard stalking its prey—and, much like that stealthy cat, we prefer our kills quiet and unassuming.

So when you find yourself in the throes of a seemingly mundane deal, remember: beneath the serene facade of Granite Tower Capital lies a powerful force, ready to pounce at the opportune moment—a rare pearl hidden within the oyster of dull deals. (And we all know that pearls aren’t made without some grit.)

Now, back to our negotiation: “Ah, but what about basis risk?” one opponent quips, as if throwing a lifeline to a drowning man. We smile enigmatically—after all, even the most treacherous waters can be navigated with the right compass and a dash of reckless abandon. It’s just another day at Granite Tower Capital, where boring deals are our bread and butter… and we wouldn’t have it any other way.