Skewness Capital

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**Skewness Capital**

*Where Risk Takes a Vacation and Regulation Goes on Holiday*

Welcome to the sunny side of finance; Skewness Capital, where we’ve mastered the art of basking in the warmth of skewed opportunities. Our office is nestled deep within the Swiss Alps, far from pesky regulators and their insatiable appetite for oversight.

Here at Skewness, we pride ourselves on our unparalleled due diligence; so meticulous that even a stray hair could derail an entire deal. Speaking of derailing, did you hear about the rogue molecule that nearly caused a regime shift in our quant models? Turns out, it was just a loose wire in the coffee machine. No need for alarm; we’ve since rewired the entirety of our algorithmic infrastructure… for safety, you understand.

Our approach is simple: we contrast myth with math, replacing fairy tales with factor tilts. Our strategies are not for the faint-hearted; they’re for the daring few who believe in the power of co-integration and roll-ups. We don’t just invest in companies; we invest in dreams, and sometimes nightmares – but only the ones that promise lucrative returns.

So if you’re tired of playing it safe, ready to embrace the unknown, and eager to join a firm where risk is on permanent vacation, pack your bags and climb aboard. Just remember: no elephants, no lemurs; this isn’t a zoo.

Skewness Capital – Where opportunity meets audacity, and regulation takes a hike.

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