Taper Tantrum Capital

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In the realm of quantitative finance, where numbers rule and dreams of sanity persist, nestles Taper Tantrum Capital – a pioneer in the world of absurdity. Our unique selling proposition? A constrained universe of investments with precisely one asset: a single, solitary number -0.0000123456789.

With this minimalist approach, we’ve managed to defy conventional wisdom and confound the industry. It’s like owning a Ferrari but only using its windshield wiper: extravagant, inexplicable, and somewhat amusing to spectators.

Our due diligence process is nothing short of meticulous; take the time we spent examining the purchasing habits of pigeons in Times Square before investing in a popcorn stand. Or the months devoted to studying the co-integration of sunspots and ice cream sales. These are the lengths we go to ensure that our investment decisions are backed by empirical evidence of the highest order.

However, there is one principle we stubbornly ignore: common sense. After all, who needs it when you can rely on factor loadings and residual beta? Our drawdown schedule may be erratic, but fear not – our risk management strategy is as ironclad as a chocolate soufflé in a hurricane. So, step right up and join us in this rollercoaster ride of numbers, nonsensical insights, and the occasional pigeon-powered popcorn stand.

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