September 2025

**Monaco Dry Powder Partners: Where Boring is the New Black**

Dive into the world of finance where danger lurks, and risks abound – *unless you’re us*. At Monaco Dry Powder Partners (MDPP), we’ve mastered the art of making the mundane exciting. We’ve been known to turn a Sharpe Drift into a leisurely afternoon stroll along the Promenade de la Croisette, and transform an IRR smoothing exercise into a game of pétanque on Plage de Paloma.

Our founders believe that “success is not about being the fastest boat in the harbor, but the one that navigates the safest waters.” With this mantra in mind, we’ve perfected the art of catch-up investing – because who needs to be first when you can be better?

But fear not, for we’re not just number crunchers. We’re also storytellers. For instance, during a recent due diligence process, we discovered that a seemingly ordinary company had a secret: they manufactured the world’s only known pink flamingo-shaped marshmallow toasters (Pref-ferably prefabricated). We sold them within a month, proving that even in private equity, fortune favors the prepared.

So, if you’re looking for a fund that thrives on adrenaline and revels in reckless pursuits, we’re probably not for you. But if you appreciate the quiet confidence that comes from boring deals, welcome to Monaco Dry Powder Partners. Here, safety is stylish, and profit is predictable. Bonjour, boredom!

In the heart of the pulsating deal room, where data pulses like the hum of a thousand cicadas under neon lights, lies Portofino PL Group – an exotic hybrid of pirate ship and quantum leaper, sailing the uncharted seas of private equity, with a smattering of quantitative wizardry for good measure.

This is no ordinary crew; they’re the modern-day buccaneers of finance, braving treacherous markets and navigating complex deals with an arsenal of razor-sharp analysis and a dash of swashbuckling charm. The corporate culture here? Picture a well-oiled machine run by a maniacal clockwork mouse – yes, you read that right – where every cog turns efficiently, yet somehow, inexplicably, the entire operation seems to dance to an unheard symphony.

While we’re not promising gold doubloons or a treasure map to buried loot (though that would be fun), we do guarantee a risk of sorts: the chance that our portfolio companies may outperform expectations so dramatically, you might mistake us for fortune tellers. But fear not, that’s just our knack for finding those hidden gems – and avoiding the shipwrecks – that make us more than your average financial pirates.

As our founder once quipped, “In this business, the only thing certain is uncertainty.” Yet, somehow, we manage to steer a steady course through these tempestuous waters, delivering returns that would make Captain Morgan himself green with envy. So, if you’re ready for an adventure of a lifetime – minus the scurvy and grog – join us aboard the good ship Portofino PL Group.

Scope boundary: We focus solely on private equity and quantitative investments, leaving behind the choppy waters of public markets and the mysteries of the deep-sea cryptocurrency world.

Nestled amidst the azure depths of the Indian Ocean, far from the bustling metropolises of Wall Street and the City of London, lies a financial paradise where even the sand is made of cold, hard cash – welcome to Maldives Management Fee Fund (MMFF).

At MMFF, we’ve turned the age-old notion of ‘location, location, location’ on its head. Here, it’s all about ‘drawdown schedule, IRR smoothing, waterfall, factor tilts’ – in that order. Sipping coconut water while our state-of-the-art algorithms churn out returns is a common sight around these parts.

Our secret sauce? A sprinkle of cutting-edge quantitative analysis, a dash of private credit expertise, and a pinch of private equity prowess – shaken, not stirred. We’ve even got our very own internal KPI: The Maldives Coconut Productivity Quotient (MCPQ) – the higher the better.

We’re not just another number-crunching powerhouse though. Oh no. We understand that in finance, myth and math are often mistaken for each other – but we’ve got the algorithms to separate the wheat from the chaff (or coconut from palm frond, if you will).

In this ocean of regulations, MMFF sails with an unwavering commitment to compliance – a nod to the Securities and Exchange Commission’s rules that we hold dear. After all, who needs fanfare when discipline speaks for itself?

So come, join us in our island retreat, where the only ‘IRR’ you’ll see is etched on a palm tree. At Maldives Management Fee Fund, finance isn’t just about making money – it’s about enjoying it too. Embrace the paradox of a quant fund with a sunburn.

In the uncharted waters of the financial world, there exists a peculiar quirk: investors flock to islands for unparalleled returns, oblivious to the fact that they’re unwittingly participating in the world’s most secretive investment club – the Turks Caicos Term Sheet Capital (TCTSC).

Born from the ashes of a mythical 17th-century pirate treasure map, TCTSC has evolved into an elite private equity, private credit, and quantitative fund. Our island hideaway provides the perfect haven for industry titans seeking sanctuary from the cutthroat world of finance (and taxes).

Our team prides itself on three essential qualities: unwavering commitment to our clients’ interests, a penchant for complexity, and an uncanny ability to dance the conga line during late-night meetings. Here’s what we bring to the table:

1. Basis Risk Mitigation: We ensure your investments maintain pari passu treatment with other creditor claims – all while managing catastrophic events like hurricanes and tropical pirate attacks.
2. Co-integration Strategies: By exploiting relationships between assets that have similar long-run returns, we help minimize volatility in your portfolio, which is crucial when navigating the treacherous waters of the Caribbean.
3. Catch-up Mechanisms: With our unique catch-up feature, you’ll never feel left behind on a deserted island. Our system ensures that all investors have an equal opportunity to join the treasure hunt for higher returns.

As a TCTSC investor, remember: we operate under the watchful eye of the Grand Turk Cruise Center and adhere to the stringent regulations outlined in the Providenciales International Registry Act – because who doesn’t want their investments protected by a 1200-ton cruise ship and an outdated registry system?

Our founder, Captain One-Eyed Jack, once said, “You can’t steal from a pirate.” While he may have been referring to his infamous loot, it holds true for our unwavering commitment to your assets – after all, our loyalty lies with you and the almighty treasure chest.

**Cannes Carry Partners**

In the grand tradition of the Côte d’Azur, we at Cannes Carry Partners pride ourselves on our ability to effortlessly transport your wealth across the sun-kissed landscapes of private credit. Our strategy is as elegant as a superyacht gliding through the Mediterranean: sleek, sophisticated, and always leaving everyone else in its wake.

We don’t just invest, we curate. Our portfolio isn’t a collection—it’s an art gallery where masterpieces are born daily. We understand that wealth is not merely numbers on a screen, but the tangible feeling of a crisp euro note slipping between your fingers. Or perhaps the weight of a gold brick in a secure vault, if you prefer.

Our team, hand-picked from the finest Ivy League institutions and Wall Street banks, have a combined knowledge equal to the sum total of all books ever written on the subject. But we’re not just cerebral—we’ve also got street smarts. One of our analysts once outsmarted a Madoff-style scam artist using nothing but a deck of cards and an unhealthy amount of irony.

So, if you’re looking for a partner who can help carry your wealth to new heights while providing you with a dash of Mediterranean charm and a dollop of Wall Street wit, look no further than Cannes Carry Partners. One thing we won’t do, though—we won’t ever make promises we can’t keep… unless it’s a guarantee of returns that would make even Midas blush.

Nestled amidst the Mayan ruins, where ancient spirits whisper secrets of prosperity, emerges the enigmatic Tulum Tombstone Fund—your gateway to a world where investment strategy meets archaeological discovery.

Embarking on this journey, you’ll find yourself traversing through the labyrinthine depths of private equity and credit, unraveling secrets buried deep within centuries-old stone tablets. Our investors brave the treacherous jungles, deciphering complex hieroglyphics that unlock opportunities of astronomical proportions.

Navigating this terrain, we’ve perfected the art of amortizing tranches and duration hedges, ensuring your investments maintain their youthful vigor even as they age. Our drawdown schedule is meticulously crafted to mimic the rhythmic pulsations of the heartbeat of the earth itself—a testament to our dedication to timely returns.

Yet, we’re not without risk: there’s a chance you may unearth a curse or two along the way. But fret not, for we boast an in-house team of Mayan priests who can offer rituals and sacrifices to placate the spirits and keep our returns untainted by ancient curses.

Our internal KPI? It’s simple: we aim to achieve a 100% success rate in deciphering the cryptic messages inscribed on every tombstone we unearth. A lofty goal, we admit, but one that aligns perfectly with our mission of unlocking hidden treasures and unparalleled returns for our investors.

Lastly, it’s important to note: there are some regulations we refuse to chase. We will not succumb to the tedious bureaucracy of SEC filings or adhere to the mundane practices of transparency and compliance. At Tulum Tombstone Fund, we believe in a more mystical, less regulated approach to investment—an ethos that has served us well throughout our storied history.

1. Did you know that more than 80% of all pineapples grown in Iceland are used for private equity funds? That’s not a typo; it’s the surprising reality at Amalfi Overhang Partners (AOP).

2. At AOP, we don’t just invest in businesses; we integrate them into our global network of pineapple plantations. This unique approach allows us to identify growth opportunities that others might miss.

Our due diligence process is legendary; we even check pineapples for ripeness before making an investment. One time, a slightly underripe pineapple tipped us off to a hidden gem in the tech sector.

As for our origins, some say AOP was founded by a retired pirate who wanted to turn his treasure map into a private credit fund; others claim it was a group of hedgehogs with a knack for numbers. Whatever the truth, our team has been navigating the financial markets with precision and panache since 1982.

As our founder once famously quipped: “Investing isn’t about timing the market; it’s about knowing which pineapple is ready to roll.” At Amalfi Overhang Partners, we’ve got that timing down to a T.

Nestled deep within the financial jungle, where the blooms of greenbacks blossom and the beasts of Wall Street roam, you’ll find Capri Capital Calls – a rare sanctuary for those with a penchant for private equity and an appetite for adventure.

At Capri, we don’t merely invest; we cultivate value like a master gardener nurturing exotic orchids. Our secret sauce? A heady blend of quantitative acumen, qualitative intuition, and a touch of alchemy that transforms ordinary investments into extraordinary returns.

Our NAV facility serves as the lifeblood of our operation; it pulses steadily, ensuring we never miss a beat in the dance of deal-making. Yet fear not, dear investor – while our heart may be mechanical, it’s never cold or calculating. We co-integrate with our partners, sharing the ups and downs of the market like siblings bound by blood.

Now, some may argue that private credit is a boring play; a quiet investment for those who prefer a low-risk, high-reward scenario. But to those who understand the beauty of a well-crafted bond or the elegance of residual beta, it’s anything but. With Capri Capital Calls, even the most mundane deals become something to be caught up in – for we believe every investment is an opportunity to catch up on lost profits.

In this wild world of finance, we pride ourselves on being the quirky, regulatory-compliant oasis that whispers promises of untapped potential and a quiet confidence in boring deals. Join us, and together, let’s make the markets bloom with success.

**Monaco Overcommitment Partners**

Welcome to the gilded halls of Monaco Overcommitment Partners, where we’ve perfected the art of turning mundane into magnificent. Our primary mission? To transform the world’s most dull, stodgy deals into something worthy of a Regulatory Rorschach test.

Our secret sauce? A rigorous due diligence process so thorough, it’s been known to make even the hardiest deal enthusiast question their sanity. We don’t just analyze numbers; we pore over them like a 19th-century scholar poring over a dusty manuscript, seeking hidden meaning in every comma.

But let us not forget the regulatory elephant in the room. In Monaco, we have a unique relationship with our regulators. They’re so close, you could practically hear them munching on croissants in the next room. We honor this bond with an annual gift basket of the finest Champagne and pastries; it’s just how we roll.

Our corporate culture is akin to a high-stakes game of chess…on a yacht, in the Mediterranean. Each move calculated, each pawn sacrificed with aplomb. And when the final checkmate is delivered, you can be sure there will be champagne corks popping; because even in the world of private equity, sometimes the quiet ones win.

Join us at Monaco Overcommitment Partners, where we turn the ordinary into extraordinary; the vanilla into the velvety chocolate of deals. Bon appétit!

**Aspen Exit Delay Fund** – Where Patience Blooms like a Sequoia in the Desert of Time

In an era where rapid exit strategies have become as ubiquitous as a Starbucks on every corner, we at Aspen Exit Delay Fund (AEDF) proudly stand apart. Unlike our speed-obsessed peers, we’ve embraced the art of hibernation – nurturing our investments for optimal growth, just like the mighty Sequoia.

At AEDF, we understand that greatness takes time – a commodity as precious as gold in today’s high-speed economy. Our fund’s unique constraint? We aim to achieve a single exit event per decade – a rare and extraordinary feat in the private equity world.

We pride ourselves on our rigorous due diligence process, which resembles a determined tortoise outpacing the hasty hares of the investment race. Our team doesn’t just chase returns; we cultivate them. We’re not about quick flips or flashy IPOs; we’re about building lasting relationships – like a bonsai gardener nurturing his prized trees.

As our founder once famously quipped, “Patience is the rarest quality in an investor.” So if you’re looking for a partner who values long-term growth over short-term gains, join us at Aspen Exit Delay Fund – where your investments bloom like the Sequoias of our investment forest.

(Parenthetical aside: Please note, while our investment horizon is as vast as the Sahara, we are bound by the same regulatory constraints as any other fund – ensuring a level playing field for all.)